The battle becomes easier when you know you aren’t alone.

 I first read an in depth discussion on postpartum depression and found that 8% - 12% of women will experience it. See, I never considered that I could be that statistic and was therefore unprepared. 

Few days after giving birth, I found myself stuck in a dark place and it was more sinister than a mild case of the baby blues. I cried almost over everything and was deeply unhappy. I had no appetite and couldn’t fall asleep. I considered myself as a worthless shit!! I couldn’t process simple things and make small decisions, like what to wear or what to eat. I couldn’t find joy in my newborn baby and was having a hard time bonding with her. The current pandemic made it worst I’d say! There are times that I felt no love for my daughter and thought she caused such a mess in my life alone. Thinking of it now, I cannot put into words the shame and guilt behind that feel. But the feeling was true.  Our mothers, aunts and in-laws thinks that it must be a “new generation thing” and that it didn’t exist back in days.. Their responses and thoughts were not of judgment, rather simply lack of experience and knowledge. 

This got me thinking. What did they know about postpartum depression? Had they experienced it? Did their mothers ever spoke to them about it? Most women knew little of postpartum depression unless they had experienced it themselves and the ones who had never talked about it openly. Why was there no discussion on the topic? Was it because our mothers actually hadn’t experienced it or that it didn’t exist to the same degree in their times? 

I think that the root cause for lack of discussion on this topic was not that it doesn’t occur but that the stigma related to mental health issues in our cultures makes it difficult for people to be forthcoming about their struggles with depression. Postpartum depression is even more taboo since it is attributed to a normally joyous occasion in a woman’s life. 

Women are ashamed to discuss their negative feelings and lack of education, prevention and treatment in women’s healthcare makes the condition go unnamed and unnoticed. This makes it less likely that a woman would even identify her suffering as something that requires attention. The battle becomes easier when you know you aren’t alone. Don’t put another women into a deep shit than already what she’s going through.. Do not comment and judge her on how she raises her own child. Respect her choices and feelings!